Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
