I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
