We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
