Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
