My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
