Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
