but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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