So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
