I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so that wasnt chicken after all
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's get the cat blown out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize