I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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