Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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