You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize