My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
