return my video game
I am puke
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
