laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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