I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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