I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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