god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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