A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
