god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He felt like a one man threesome
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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