Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
