nut hugger
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
