Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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