ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
