When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
