I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
