I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
