can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My life is pants optional.
Randomize