Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
