Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
