you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
