Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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