What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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