He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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