great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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