Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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