That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
