she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
two words: eviction party
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
