I just made out with a guy for $7.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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