I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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