Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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