he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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