i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
