I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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