but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
thus making me awesome and them whores
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
vagina is talking i cant
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
