Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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