She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
