Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize