I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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