I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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