dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
