Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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