so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
