We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
