Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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