i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
