I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
