Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
