I accidentally had phone sex last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
