HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
