My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
