bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
