just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize